"Do you smell pee?"

To preface I do work in the hospital and am around alot of bodily fluids. I had been thinking it was too soon to be have super smelling power...until today.

Case #1:  I am discharging the nice old gal who heart turned out to be just fine. We are in her room, I am explaining test results to her and a friend when I smell pee. Like how it smells if you are a "yellow mellow, brown flush it down" type of person. But she isn't wearing an incontinence pad and does not have a bedside commode. Hmmm. I lean closer to her, explaining her new meds. Still no smell. I give up on my amateur detective skills because it's time to send her home. I wheel her out to meet her friend to go home. Her friend comes around to her her get into the car, and like a wave the urine smell flows all over me. I hold my breath a little, it is the nice old gals friend who smells like pee. Luckily they are excited to go home so my smeller does not get tortured.

Case #2:  A coworker's patient motions for me to help him. I smell pee. Again no diaper, no urinal, no bedside commode. This nice guy who might have had a heart attack (or more likely just has acid reflux) smells like he passed out in an alley and wet himself.  I ask my coworker about the patient, "Doesn't he smell like urine?" "Not to me, we checked his blood alcohol level and there wasn't any."  I think this is confirmation that my smeller is super sensitized by this blueberry sized creature growing inside me.

Also: yesterday I bought cheese (gouda and havarti). I ordinarily love havarti and have a smell induced craving for gouda (Noel came home smelling like gouda, but swore he doesn't use any at work, but then I had to have some, although it was disappointing because in my hurry I hadn't realized that I actually wanted smoked gouda). But the havarti "smells funny," if something can smell "mushy" it does. So I cannot eat it, but haven't given up quite yet. Maybe I can bake it with something stronger smelling?

Things I am dreading smelling: the ER nurse who wears Lolita Lemptika (it gave me headaches before being pregnant), ER cheeseburger parties (there is something about the way a McDonalds wrapper smells), the coworker whose deodorant does not work, bowel movements of any patient.

"Panchito"

I am "finally" pregnant! It feels like a "finally" statement because we have been talking about it for so long, but in reality I knew I was by the 88th day off birth control (Saturday). Woo hooo!!! I actually did do little celebratory dance in the shower before I told Noel.  I am thrilled and refer to our embryo as "our little alien" as that big black dot of an eye and neck/body really do make it look like an alien. Noel refers to the embryo as "Panchito" and refuses to pick a less terrible name. I am trying to think of the name as a way to say "our little revolutionary." But seriously, "Pancho"???!!!  Noel is still in shock and is very worried about being a good dad and how we will afford a baby. Seriously, they aren't that expensive (are they??!!). Kind of like having a new car with the upkeep and whatnot, at least milk is free compared to gas ;)

Speaking of 88th day, dating a pregnancy from the first day of your last period is crazy, it adds about two weeks to your pregnancy. I mean take the first day of your last period, add a week and then add 9 months and that is your expected due date. But what if you don't ovulate on day 14 (like 80% of the female population). For me, who did not ovulate until day 32 (yes 32, not 14 like most people or up to 22 like the occasional other, but 32 due to, I feel, the weirdness of stopping the pill). So while the nurse practitioner at Planned Parenthood (Noel wanted "confirmation", like two positive home test weren't enough, so off I went to PP, the quickest place to get tested) said I was 8 weeks and 2 days, I am more like 6 weeks and 2 days (who do you think will be going wayyy over their estimated due date???).

As for pregnancy symptoms:
- nausea...nope
- sore breasts .... oh yes, ouch
- super sensitive to odors .... see next blog
- headaches ...none
- weight gain ... way too early for that, but I did buy a scale
- weird craving ... "Noel, were you cooking with gouda tonight? (sniffing clothes) "No, definately not"... next day I buy gouda cheese, all other cheeses smell funny

Pregnancy Vibes (Are you doing magic fingers for me?)

I quit taking birth control 3 months ago. Actually 85 days ago to be more precise. I actually wanted to be pregnant longgg before I stopped the pill but my dear hubby was less child bearing inclined.

Side note: Every week until we got married, especially when I was meeting his family in Honduras, he would beg, "why can't we have a baby now, tonight? to which I'd replay "I'm in nursing school, you're in Honduras, and anyways the pill stays in your system for awhile so tonight is not an option dear." But of course men are strange strange creatures and the day we got married he decided that he actually did  not want a little half him-half me yet. More on my outrage with this later.

Of course I was hopeful we'd get pregnant the first month. Even better on our anniversary 2 weeks after quitting the pill. But it is one of those catch 22s. Most women avoid pregnancy like the plague, and when they finally are ready and have a willing partner you find it just isn't as easy as many people make it look. I have a dear friend who struggled with endometriosis and infertility so I had a heads up that it might not be as easy and fun as it seemed. And of course it hasn't been, 85 days later my Noel will talk to my non-pregnant flat belly, but it's too soon to know if any of those little swimmers took hold this month. So now after two haphazard 'cycles' (if they can even be called that) I finally have more than 7 high temperatures in a row, proud to say actually 15, which means if my waking temp stays low for 3 more days I am most likely pregnant, downside is I have felt like I am getting my period for days. I am trying so hard not to take a pregnancy test for at least two more days. The potential is killllling me (figuratively).  As are the gazillions of pregnant coworkers at the hospital. There are at least 4, two of whom are in my teeny tiny unit. At least the baggy scrubs hide the bellies of the others so I do not die of bump envy. Grumble grumble.

The only people who even know I stopped the pill are Noel, and a couple of my close girl friends. I didn't want to tell my parents and have them ask allllll the time if we are yet. My friends are bad enough, let alone two almost 60s whose friends all have grand kids already. My close friend and fellow nurse Jade always says she is doing magic finger baby vibes for me. I will take anything that helps :)

Weird thing about trying to make babies and the whole associated not drinking alcohol thing. I have never before wanted a beer or wine sooo much until we started procreating with purpose. Trying so hard to be good.

I have been off and on the pill for years, blessedly it did shorten and decrease pain during my teen years. But I had not idea it made my hair thicker (although this makes common sense), as lately my hair looks dirty faster.Unfortunately the mask of pregnancy melasma is not going away. More on my 'mask' later, as pregnancy will most definately make it much worse.

Side note: Noel realllly wants twins. I gasped "Oh God I hope not" when he told me (there are none on my side anywhere and he has some second cousin with one set of twins). He thinks the best way to grow up would be with a permanent buddy who goes through all the same things. Whereas I cannot imagine how my 5'8 123 frame could handle this. Please swimmers, don't be too competitive, one will do just fine.