Being Judgmental

As a nurse I strive to be aware of when I am being judgmental. I just found this old post from nursing school....

So Mary* was in the hospital because she had bilateral abscesses from muscling (injecting into the buttocks when no more veins are available) black tar heroin. In the US there are two main types of heroin: China White and Black Tar. Black tar is from Mexico and is in general crappier and slightly cheaper. It is seen mainly on the West coast. It is black/brown colored because it is mixed with any black/brown substance (this includes: brown sugar, and poop! seriously). It makes sense that Black is dirtier because its mixers are.

We are talking deep holes, like fit two of those giant erasers into. I cannot imagine ever wearing a swim suit again with that significant of a portion of my buttocks missing. She had gotten skin grafts and was in a special (and expensive bed to keep pressure off of them). She had a central line because she didn't have many veins left.

She was pleasant and a bit whiny. But she had been in the hospital for weeks. She wasn't homeless but did hate her group living facility. Unfortunately she was from a different area and couldn't work with social work to fix her living situation.

 

I recognized how I had checked my main judgements at her door when my nursing advisor commented on how she was probably citing more pain than she actually had because she was an IVDU (intravenous drug user). Now her chart said she quit using heroin 15 years ago, and I hadn't seen any new track marks during the examination, and she was on methadone. I was taken aback that my well educated and usually respectful nursing advisor would imply that she had not quit using and was using excess pain meds. Although I agree that IVDUs are more likely to abuse pain meds in the hospital this pt had reestablished a good relationship with her son and mother, which takes a lot because IVDUs really abuse their family (stealing, lying, abusing). While I do not think that methadone is the answer it had kept Mary off of heroin to the extent that her son and mother were back in her life, visiting her at the hospital and helping to arrange her out of hospital care.

Knowing why she ended up with skin grafts to her buttocks made my mind go in judgmental directions. But recognizing this I try to put aside the "you did this to yourself and now the state/citizens/us/me are paying for it" thoughts. Everyone judges people instantly whether they admit it or not, so I am at the least trying to be aware.

Is there a 6 pack in my future?

***Hold the press***

This girl started working out about 50 days ago.

I know, I have never stuck with a real workout. They are sooo boring and don't even make me sweat. But with my tummy skin not feeling firm, my low back hurting a lot even a year after babykins was born, plus our Hawaii trip and me turning 30 shortly I had extra motivation.

A friend on Facebook had posted her before and after pictures after doing a Beach Body workout called Insanity. It is exactly how it sounds. I sweat my ass off and it burns. And I love it!

I am pretty damn proud of myself :)

Here we are on vacation two weeks ago. Look I have abs! Now to convince my dear hubby....

Life moves on

I had pretty much given up on bothering to blog because it is clear that I do not keep up well. The year plus long gap, well, I did log in, but nothing thrilling enough jumped into my brain. Life is as exciting as always with a toddler, especially because summer started a week ago. The garden has comes alive and Amanda spends most of the day in a state of semi-nakedness on the porch. It is awesome :) Sun makes my mood soo much better. No this following photo isn't of our northwestern weather. We vacationed in Hawaii!

In not so awesome news I "start" my clinicals to be a family nurse practitioner (FNP). In quotes because I have yet to find preceptors. I start in 1.75 months and therefore am completely freaking out as any control freak nurse/nursing student would be. We do not like uncertainty, especially when courses are only offered once a year. I really don't want to wait a whole year to start! I am nervous to the point of paying a ridiculous (non refundable) sum of money to have a company help me locate preceptors. Seriously. In my mind this is the only downside to completing my degree online. Online FNP schools do not arrange your clinicals because they cannot possibly have contacts in every state.

(sigh)

While the preceptorship drama unfolds I also need to take Amanda to Honduras to visit the family there..... Not to make it sound like a chore. It is just one more thing on my plate.

Where to go, what to do

I have no blogged in ages. No good excuses why other than being busy with Babykins. And starting work. And having the death flu.

But really what's stopping me is too many ideas, and not knowing what to focus on.

I'm a new mama and I breastfeed and cloth diaper. But I'm also a nurse which leads to interesting stories. And being married to a Latino brings in the international aspect as well.

So where to go and what to do.... still thinking on this one

Shampoo-less failure

I like to think that I can do whatever I put my mind too. The whole 'poo free thing didn't work for me on many levels. My roots run oily, they always have. And I am still breastfeeding, which makes them feel dirty every day. Before Amanda I only washed my hair every few days! Long hair has never been hard for me to maintain but these hormones made my hair wacky! Wacky I tell you! where did the curl I love go?  I ended up going 'poo free for 11 days, with doing the baking soda "shampoo" and apple cider vinegar "conditioner" every few days.

The problem was the baking soda dried out my fingers too much (they hurt!), my hair didn't feel clean, and -I can admit it- I am just not that crunchy that I was willing to put the necessary work into it...yet. So I cut off 6 inches in a month (two cuts). And I switched to Aubrey Organics shampoo and conditioner, which I LOVE. That was all ages ago and I cut off another 2 inches recently. I am *tempted* to cut my hair short (a dirty word to me since junior high), but I have a bad ass flip on the right side that resists even straightening. Not that I have the time for that nowdays!

No 'poo

Even before I was a nurse I was concerned with what I put INTO my body. But now being a mom I notice what I put ON my body. I started to hate my hair during pregnancy. Previously I loved my hair, how low maintenance it was, how it looked good most of the time. But pregnancy made it look lifeless and stringy. And now almost 5 months post partum and after two haircuts and switching to an organic shampoo it hasn't changed much. Boo.

While I consider myself a little "crunchy", my little sister is "extra crunchy," only buys used clothes, doesn't wear typical perfume or deodorant, works at a co-op. She lives in Portland, OR so these things are practically mainstream. What I didn't know is that she doesn't use ANYTHING in her hair, not even the "no 'poo" shampoo of baking soda and apple cider vinegar. Granted her hair is about 3 inches long.

She said she used the no 'poo when her hair was long and since I already dislike my hair I might as well give it a go. My hair is long and I don't plan to cut it into a short mama cut because I had a bad ass outward flip on one side. It really is that annoying!

Today is my second day of no 'poo. Supposedly there is a 2 week adjustment period, but I already had my second good hair day in the last month! I made two bottles in the shower. The "shampoo" is 1 tablespoon baking soda and 1 cup water. Shaken well it is squeezed onto the scalp and massaged in. My ends are dry so I am doing the "conditioner" as well: 1 tablespoon apple cider vinegar and 1 cup water. I put this just on the ends since my scalp runs oily (but then again maybe it is all the product buildup?). I was surprised to see that my hair felt the same gettign out of the shower.

Stay tuned to see if I have new fabulous chemical free hair soon!